Friends should be solution to our problems…. and not their source!
I posted a question on my page recently “kya har friend jaruri hota hai?”….to which many people replied: yes. But do read this article and then reconsider your answer again.
Friends! Our second family. It’s the family that we select, so when you are picking and choosing, do take care. Life is too short to be wasted on people who drain your energy, bring you down and leave you tired and exhausted. If you don’t like how you feel or how you behave when you are with certain company, then reconsider and change the company. It’s better to surround yourself with people who actually care about you, and get rid of fake or toxic friends. It sounds harsh and corny, but like I said, life is too short to be wasted on toxic friends.
I have made a list of friends you should get rid of (believe me that will make you feel lighter and good).
1. The friend who will always look down on you: There is never dearth of friends like these! They will pretend to be your best friends but will always find faults in things, and will always try to intimidate you….like always!
Friend: what’s up at work
You: Hey you know what I got best employee of my department from the HOD! J so happy!
Friend: oh but you know that girl Anjali, she got promoted as a manager…and that boy blah blah blah
They will always ignore your achievements and try bragging about the achievements of others making you feel shit (and I am sure they will be doing the same thing to others).
2. The out of blue friend: These friends just reappear suddenly (after months! Or years!) And will talk to you only when they please. That is still okay to digest but what is not is the fact that they will always claim to be your best friend.
You (6 months ago): Hey friend how are you. Need to talk to you ASAP
Friend (now): oh I am sorry. Was caught up with work! Can we talk now?
I mean how much busy can a person be? Seriously! You always (always) have time to say a “hi” or “what happened” to a friend. It just takes 5 seconds. The ‘out of blue” friend will never be around you (he/she is busy you see…), and if you are facing the downfall in life and need somebody to comfort you, they will leave you feeling more miserable.
Do you really need a friend who is eternally busy and will come back and talk to you after months?
3. The information sucker: Then there is a variety that will ask and suck all the information from you but when their turn comes, they will deviate the topic elsewhere, and won’t spill anything. The end result of the conversation will end up making you feel vulnerable and bad (as you shared all the secrets to this mute but not dumb person). Personally I don’t like such friendship where there is unequal participation.
4. The “Cry baby” friend: This is the most irritating kind of friendship, and I also got to witness quite a few “cry baby” friends in my life. It seems everything bad happens to them and around them! And obviously the world revolves around them. Everytime they call, they will have something sad to tell you, and you are left with sympathizing them (like…all the time!)
I had a friend who was always sick, unhappy with her parents, frustrated with his job, always coming up with a bad news (this person died, this person is sick) always complaining about her husband (and for the record she had a love marriage after 5 years of courtship). I visited her once, and found that everything around her was fine. The only problem was: she! These friends are always negative and full of complains, and everytime you talk to them, you feel exhausted and drained.
5. The “you are sad…I am happy” friend: They are the most toxic variety. They wince when you share a happy news, and they are glad when you are unhappy and in a stressful state. They seem apologetic and sympathetic in your face but when you turn around they are overjoyed and happy about any bad thing happening to you. They seek happiness in others misery.
Do you really need friend who secretly wish for your misery?
In the end, ask yourself what good you are doing to yourself by hanging onto douchebags! Just reconsider the list of your friends this summer and keep the ones who are actually your friends. It’s better to have few true friends rather than many fake friends.